Jason Mraz 唱的。

http://www.box.net/shared/zly6vfqn68

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy, humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language, and shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective, though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests that this is just what happiness is

And, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy, depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess, this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt oh dear
Cause here, here we are, Here we are
Here we are [x7]

We're still here
What a beautiful mess, this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes"

Through, timeless words and priceless pictures
will fly like birds not of this earth

And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together

And we, tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But its nice today
All the way it was so worth it.





















现在只能听这么慢悠悠的歌儿了。我有时候想，到底什么是personal life 呢？是this part of life，还是that part of life。每天就是小孩子的事，上幼儿园，生病生病再生病，之类的。以至于天涯这里要take a vacation才能更新。以至于从来也不丢字的我，不小心按了F5，刚才写的若干行就不见了，笨啊。然后我就忘了都写了什么。。。 每周都去的Target最近在做remodel，我要找的好多东西都改变了位置，因此很恼火。家里的HP打印机坏掉了，拿到外面的柯达机器去打，它不能batch打5x7大小的，我就很恼火。哦想起来了，因为要打“5x7”，我不小心打了F5。。。 然后想说什么呢？想不起了。就不说了吧。

秋天的一点点尾巴：













娃一岁生日：

















然后真正的冬天来了：

好在房间里还暖和：

看W，我好像很少很少看文字，只是看画儿看广告。这回不知道怎么的就看了这篇Uma Thurman的访谈。大概是她的那几张照片比较的。。。恩。。。intriguing。

Uma今年39岁，两个娃的妈。就是那个Kill Bill里的黄衣女，一路杀死若干人最后杀死Bill的那个干瘦黄衣女；还是Pulp Fiction封面上那个齐眉黑发刘海的诱惑女。都好多年了。

不过这回是因为她演了个片子，叫Motherhood。女人片儿，妈妈片儿，听起来一点也不酷的片儿。下个月上映，我想去看看，不知道有没有可能找到时间。

访谈里最经典的一句话是: “You know, that's the worse mistake a woman can make, to think, Oh, I'm 32 and I've had two kids and I've worked since I was 16 and now it's going to get easier. Because as soon as you think that, you're doomed! You're absolutely doomed!" 看到这里不禁哑然失笑。"It's going to get easier", just how many times have I thought that?? ... ...

八卦的方面，Uma的这些年，实在不能算是顺利。在那个kick ass的Kill Bill之后，她经过了离婚（前夫跟她两个孩子的nanny又有了孩子），变态的跟踪（有个BT成天跟着她，在她家门外停着车，住在车里守着）这一干等郁闷事，让人觉得不管是名人还是普通人，都有自己的不容易。只是名人各个方面似乎都来得更强烈，更drama一些。不过他们貌似承受戏剧性生活的能力也相应的强一些。

另外的一句话："I am a mother, but I need to do what I'm good at doing... Even your kids need you to be who you are"。这个也是我想要做到的。生命中的一些年，献给kids是非常必要的，我觉得现在做的其实远远不够，在小孩第一年都没有24/7的陪着她，跑去上班；但是一些年之后，比如小孩到了上学的年纪，妈妈还是应该有些自己可以投入去做的事情，在小孩以外的事情。至于这些事情是什么，是更需要钱还是更需要事业，是更需要精神还是更需要物质，就看自己的造化了。现在的期望是下一个小孩的第一年可以每日每夜的陪着他/她，宝贝他，宠爱他，不需要在和他分离的时候想念他，不需要每天背着奶泵和冰袋跑来跑去，不需要在他第一次potty training成功的时候还要老妈照了粑粑的照片等我下班回来看。

恩，就是这样。我其实觉得这是个挺伟大的理想。

试着念一遍，尤其是最后一段，很有乐趣地，嘿嘿。

I went to the Animal Fair
The birds and the beasts were there
The big baboon by the light of the moon
Was combing his auburn hair

The monkey, he got drunk
and sat on the elephant's trunk,
The elephant sneezed and fell on his knees
And that was the end of the monk
The monk, the monk, the monk.

Said a flea to a fly in a flue
Said the flea "Oh what shall we do?"
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"; said the flea, "Let us fly!"
So they flew through a flaw in the flue

乱七八糟的一些些。每天就是忙活娃，忙啊忙。













Baby Gap的新系列，还满喜欢的，不过俺们附近的这个mall好像没有，只在远一些的那个才有。买了右下角的那个onesie：





某天的月亮很低很圆很油腻，在俺家门前的那条小路：









大个儿的：





某个周末去公司干活，拍了下公司的lobby，照片里却也不怎么熟悉。大概是平时都走后门，也不太从这里经过：




















看来看去也没有哪张特别好看的。基本上都是小数码拍的，效果也不怎么好。大机器都拿来拍娃了，呵呵。

这么多天，俺还活在MJ的几张CD里，还没听完，只是上班下班车上听听。这三个是比较非典型的MJ作品，little Susie讲的一个没人管死掉的小女孩，有点creepy，但是又感动，每次CD转到那里我都觉得身体里有化学反应。Whatever happens，音乐有点异域风情，男女关系，互相的不理解，but whatever happens, don't let go of my hand....... 2000 Watts，迪歌，里面的vocal都被做过的，都不像了，但是很适合跟着摇脑袋。

Little Susie: http://www.box.net/shared/06m6xqk6ce

Whatever happens: http://www.box.net/shared/ins6hchxck

2000 Watts: http://www.box.net/shared/z168zgx6kh

歌词如下：

"Little Susie"
Somebody killed little Susie
The girl with the tune
Who sings in the daytime at noon
She was there screaming
Beating her voice in her doom
But nobody came to her soon...

A fall down the stairs
Her dress torn
Oh the blood in her hair...
A mystery so sullen in air
She lie there so tenderly
Fashioned so slenderly
Lift her with care,
Oh the blood in her hair...

Everyone came to see
The girl that now is dead
So blind stare the eyes in her head...
And suddenly a voice from the crowd said
This girl lived in vain
Her face bear such agony, such strain...

But only the man from next door
Knew Little Susie and how he cried
As he reached down
To close Susie's eyes...
She lie there so tenderly
Fashioned so slenderly
Lift her with care
Oh the blood in her hair...

It was all for God's sake
For her singing the tune
For someone to feel her despair
To be damned to know hoping is dead and you're doomed
Then to scream out
And nobody's there...

She knew no one cared...

Father left home, poor mother died
Leaving Susie alone
Grandfather's soul too had flown...
No one to care
Just to love her
How much can one bear
Neglecting the needs in her prayers...

Neglection can kill
Like a knife in your soul
Oh it will
Little Susie fought so hard to live...
She lie there so tenderly
Fashioned so slenderly
Lift her with care
So young and so fair

"Whatever Happens"
He gives another smile, tries to understand her side
To show that he cares
she can't stay in the room
She's consumed with everything that's been goin' on
She says

[Chorus]
Whatever happens, don't let go of my hand

Everything will be alright, he assures her
But she doesn't hear a word that he says
Preoccupied, she's afraid
Afraid that what they've been doing is not right
He doesn't know what to say, so he prays
Whatever, whatever, whatever

[Chorus]
Whatever happens, don't let go of my hand
Whatever happens, don't let go of my hand
Whatever happens, don't you let go of my hand

Don't let go of my hand
Don't let go of my hand

He's working day and night, thinks he'll make her happy
Forgetting all the dreams that he had
He doesn't realize it's not the end of the world
It doesn't have to be that bad
She tries to explain, "It's you that makes me happy,"
Whatever, whatever, whatever

[Chorus]
Whatever happens, don't let go of my hand
Whatever happens, don't let go of my hand
Whatever happens, don't let go of my hand
Whatever happens, don't you let go of my hand

Whatever happens, don't let go of my hand
Whatever happens, don't let go of my hand
Whatever happens, don't you let go of my hand

Whatever happens, don't let go of my hand

[Carlos Santana:] Thank you, man!
[Michael Jackson:] Thank you, Carlos!

"2000 Watts"
Bass note, treble, stereo control, how low you go
Just enough to make your juices flow
Press play, don’t stop, rotate, too hot
You feel I’m real
I’m everything you need, so tell me what’s the deal

[CHORUS]
2000 Watts, 8 ohms, 200 volts, real strong
Too much of that, fuse blown
Be careful what you say don’t overload
2000 Watts, 8 ohms, 200 volts, real strong
Too much of that, fuse blown
Be careful what you say don’t overload

3D, high speed, feedback, Dolby
Release two or three, when I reach I can go ‘til I hit my peak
Compact steelo, chico, D-Lo, highpost lady
Shorty really wanna be there for me

很久了，把下半部分写完。上半部分在 这里 。

6. 安全

这个方面，Google的理论是把每一个Chrome Tab都做成一个Sandbox，给予很有限的权限，第一不能往你的机器上写东西，第二不能从某些地方读东西。这样即使有些网站是恶意的，你一关掉这个Tab，一切就消失了，不会对你的机器有任何影响。比如不会把你的主页改变，不会给你安装上一些莫名其妙的东西。另外，Google长期不断的搜索一些冒充银行的phishing网站，一旦你企图访问，马上给出警告。这个网站的列表是公开共享的。关于插件，据说Chrome支持的不怎么好，因为插件不是html或javascript，而是另外的应用程序，这样它的读写权限Chrome就管不着了。Chrome所做的是把网页里的插件和Chrome Tab分离开来，这样即使插件crash了，Chrome Tab还会在，但对于插件本身还是控制不了的。有些插件据说也不能用，不过俺不了解，以前也没有用过（土就一个字）。FireFox据说这方面就支持的比较好。

7. New Tab Page

Ctrl + t 就可以打开一个新的Tab，但是里边不是空白的，列出了一大堆东西。首先是你经常访问的那些网站的小图，如果你想上某一个，直接点一下就行了。最上边一行是你的书签；右边靠上是三个搜索框，搜索你的浏览历史；搜索wiki，还有u tube。再下面是最近bookmark的网页，再下面是最近关闭的网页。总的来说很方便，很多时候就不用再打url了，一点就行。

8. Incognito Window

这个吗，是用来。。。说好听是保护隐私，说难听是隐藏真相。。。反正就是在这个页面里上过的网，浏览的任何信息，不会被存到浏览历史里，也不会在上面说的New Tab Page里面显示任何信息；就好象你从来没有上过这个网站一样。Use case呢？估计大家都能想到一些吧。。。。Chrome给的例子是一个男的从网上order了一个礼物给女的，不让她知道，用了这个Incognito Mode。

9. 简单的下载方式

要从网页上下个什么东西，点一下，就好了，直接存到My Documents/Downloads或者你指定的其他地方。没有什么其他的框框弹出来，只是在页面的最下边出现一个横条，用一个圆圈来表示进度，而不是长长的进度条。下完了之后，点一下打开；或者还有打开文件夹等其他选项。

10. 开源

Google 牛逼的地方：不问用户要一分钱。甚至做到Chrome的时候，Open Source了。他们也许是不好意思，明说了，用了不少FireFox的代码，还有WebKit的东东，也算是站在了巨人的肩膀上，结果却变成了人家的competitor。不过呢，既然都是开源的，也算是一起make the world a better place 吧。但是Google的员工工资却是不少，不像很多open source 软件都是凭着兴趣做做的，他们至少还有自己的形象需要保证，不能做质量不好的东东，比一般随便做做的open source 质量应该还是强不少的。


说到最后，为什么Google做了一个浏览器呢？其实还是挺聪明的。用他们自己的话说：Google lives on the internet。他们的东东，都是需要浏览器来用的，有一个自己的浏览器，就能和他们的其他东东比如Gmail，u tube之类的更好的配合，让他们的产品跑的更好更流畅。其实用了一段时间，发现还是有个别的网页个别的地方没有render对，而且不知道为什么在textbox里边，shift + page up or down 不能用。只能用shift + 箭头。不过这都是小地方了，不是什么大问题。其实一上来最明显的还是速度快。别的方面只有用久了才能感觉出来。

They don't care about us MP3:
http://www.box.net/shared/1nktk3g1kx






























Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
Situation, aggravation
Everybody allegation
In the suite, on the news
Everybody dog food
Bang bang, shot dead
Everybody's gone mad

All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us

Beat me, hate me
You can never break me
Will me, thrill me
You can never kill me
Jew me, sue me
Everybody do me
Kick me, kike me
Don't you black or white me

All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us

Tell me what has become of my life
I have a wife and two children who love me
I am the victim of police brutality, now
I'm tired of bein' the victim of hate
You're rapin' me of my pride
Oh, for God's sake
I look to heaven to fulfill its prophecy...
Set me free

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
trepidation, speculation
Everybody allegation
In the suite, on the news
Everybody dog food
black man, black male
Throw your brother in jail

All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us

Tell me what has become of my rights
Am I invisible because you ignore me?
Your proclamation promised me free liberty, now
I'm tired of bein' the victim of shame
They're throwing me in a class with a bad name
I can't believe this is the land from which I came
You know I do really hate to say it
The government don't wanna see
But if Roosevelt was livin'
He wouldn't let this be, no, no

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
Situation, speculation
Everybody litigation
Beat me, bash me
You can never trash me
Hit me, kick me
You can never get me

All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us

Some things in life they just don't wanna see
But if Martin Luther was livin'
He wouldn't let this be

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
Situation, segregation
Everybody allegation
In the suite, on the news
Everybody dog food
Kick me, strike me
Don't you wrong or right me

All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us

All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us

All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us


7/4放假的几天，基本上就是you tube MJ了。从"Living with Michael Jackson"，"Interview with Oprah"，到T-T提醒后去看"Living ~ , Take Two"，然后又看"MJ Private Home Movies on Fox"，再加上复习了一些他的Music Videos，还看了几个以前没看过的，还是颇有些唏嘘的。

最最推荐的是2003年在Fox上放的Private Home Movies，很好玩，很温馨，很能related to。MJ 很多时候就是个大孩子。比如他们在Neverland 打水枪战，扔水气球；还比如他们一个在后台的片段，多么真实啊，甚至跟我以前backstage的那些情景非常相像，而MJ这样的超级巨星，好像也没什么特别嘛！1993年的舞台上，那个意外惊喜的大生日蛋糕，让站在台子上的MJ都有些害羞的样子。还有很多小细节，都很fun。

They don't care about us，以前听过这个歌，没看过video。好像是在巴西拍的，MJ 居然穿着蓝色牛仔裤，和以往完全不同的打扮。现在看了歌词，才知道他在十多年之前唱的是什么。不管怎么样，其实他还是幸运的，至少有一种方式可以拿来表达自己的想法，还有本事表达的淋漓尽致。然而究竟有多少人认真去听却不好说了。至少我自己，到现在才仔细听这个歌，而关于他的其他一些BT的传闻却是早早就知道了。这就是media的厉害吧。那个给他拍Living with Michael Jackson 的Martin Bashir，就是个典型的两面三刀，表面一套背后一套的猥琐小人，看着他说话那个伪善的样子就觉得此人不地道，而MJ却那么信任他，让他采访拍摄，之后却编辑出了个有强烈偏见和导向性的片子。不过也许也不是坏事，这让MJ后来自己又站出来在电视上播了Take Two，由一些未经过剪辑的片段组成；更好看的是上面说的Private Home Movies，多么的可爱。尤其现在我也有了娃，真是非常理解那种喜欢孩子的心。It's almost beyond everything。当我大半夜抱着娃看她熟睡的样子的时候，多么能理解MJ为什么在他的家园建造了一个孩子们的童话世界，有游乐场，有各种动物，那么多小朋友们在这里欢乐，笑，奔跑，晚上留他们sleep over，甚至在theater里也修了病床让病孩子们躺着看表演，真是让人最最心醉的事了。

不管一个人的生命有多长，media对他怎么评价，如果他可以做一些让其他人感动，relate to，并且受到巨大影响的事，他就是非常成功的吧。不过仍然很惋惜，才50岁就不在了这个世界。。。

不知道下次去超市，newsstand的杂志上是不是每个封面都是他的照片。Michael Jackson，每个人都用自己的方式来纪念他，说到最后也不是在纪念他这个人，也都还是纪念他所代表的以往的那段岁月和时光。

我那时候还很小，初中是听MJ 听的最多的时候，从哈尔滨的初中，到天津的初中。我听歌的方式，从小到大，好像都是自己去cover，就是真的喜欢了。在哈尔滨的那段，有一次在北京有一个英文歌曲比赛，好像是当时用来推动申办2000奥运会的一个活动，我老爸就怂恿我去参加。自己在家录了一首beat it，还有另外一个MM的歌，磁带寄去，居然通知到北京参加下一轮。我才几岁啊，11, or 12？反正是小屁孩呢。当时我老爸有个学生会跳所谓现代舞的，帮着我一起把beat it 里面的舞蹈扒了一遍，又编了些自己的动作，对着大镜子练习练习，我就去到北京参加比赛去了。小屁孩在台上蹦蹦跳跳，beat it~~ beat it~~~ 一番，也没进最后的总决赛，记得是选12个，小屁孩好像排第19？Anyway...

Beat It mp3: http://www.box.net/shared/e8gmtnoumf

不过这还没结束，小屁孩回家之后觉得比赛的时候没有表现出这个歌的精髓，原因是偌大的舞台上只有一个小屁孩在蹦蹦跳跳，完全没有MJ video 里群魔乱舞的那个阵势。于是发动当时的两个小朋友杜MM和姚MM一起跳，企图把所有的动作就教给她们，大家一起跳。其实后来想，这两个淑女MM怎么会对这种调调感兴趣呢，几乎完全是被我给忽悠了，也不知道她们是否真的enjoy。我小时候，还真是挺pushy的。

后来呢，还没完，后来我转学了，转到了天津，还是没忘了这茬，就是想排一个群魔乱舞的beat it。结果在这个班里，真的让我搞成了。圈了有10来个人，用MJ原来的那些动作，又加上了一段三十二步，有些搞笑，但是竟也把整首歌给顺下来了。排了个三角形的队形，一，二，三，四。。。一排一排的，我在头一个，兼拿麦克边跳边唱。小范围大范围的演了若干次，印象比较深的是有一次在礼堂的大台子上，还有一次是新年联欢的时候到其他班去演，还被拍了几张照片。后来看，那时候真是土的掉渣，不好意思出来吓人。

后来呢，初中快毕业了，MJ出了History，我就觉得他似乎差不多了。History这个名字仿佛是一种预兆。我上了高中之后，几乎就不再理他，全部心思扑到了rock and roll上面。可是有一次看天津电视台，播了一段某高中的班会录影，居然是beat it！不是别人，就是当时我在初中圈的10人种的一位梁MM，又在她的高中圈了几个同学原搬照抄了一把，我看了还觉得有点不忿，心想这明明是我的啊，怎么一点credit 也没有。其实呢，credit 都应该是MJ的啊。

现在说起这些，好像是上辈子的事了。所以，MJ这个上辈子的人去世了，也不是很意外很伤怀吧。虽然他其实还是很年轻，才50整。而且去Allmusic 看了一圈，他真正出的专辑也没有几盒，Thriller, Bad, Dangerous, 然后History，也就这么几个我认真听了。比起其他那些Discography一页都装不下的老头子，MJ也算是昙花一现了。可是就这么10年左右的灿烂，让他的名字传遍全世界，几乎每个人都知晓，冠名以The King of Pop，也真是很了不得。昨天看一个MM blog上说，上天给了他生命的宽度，就要缩短他生命的长度，也许是有道理的吧。他活着一辈子，把我十辈子都能活出来了。