£ £ So, another of my friends is getting married. I received the invitation a few months ago. And then there is the sense that I was being more and more alone by all these weddings of my friends.
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£ £ I couldn¡¯t help but think about how my future might be very different from the futures of most people I knew. In a world of pairs, all too often, there is no place for singles.
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£ £ But I¡¯m not resentful. People make choices about their lives. And the consequences, social and otherwise, fall into place behind those choices.
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£ £ I think you must have the power to make your lover lives well. And it would take the relationship of a lifetime to make me want to marry. Otherwise, I was prepared to remain single for the rest of my life. The decision didn¡¯t seem sad at all to me. In fact, it was liberating. I would never be desperate to marry.
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£ £ As my friends raves on about his new love, I¡¯ve taken a good look at my standpoint. He honestly claims the sky is bluer when he is falling in love. Mozart moves him to tears. But when he asked me, ¡°what the best of love?¡± I ran through all the obvious reasons: commitment, shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, communication. Yet there¡¯s more.
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£ £ We should give some surprise to each other in the daily. Let¡¯s imagine the scene: one time you came home to find a note on the front door that led you to another note, then another, until you reached the walk-in closer. You opened the door to find your lover holding a gift package. Sometimes you leave him notes on the mirror and little presents under his pillow.
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£ £ We must mutual understanding. You understand why I must play basketball with the guys. And I understand why, once a year, you must get away from the house, the kids-and even me-to meet your sisters for a few days of nonstop talking and laughing.
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£ £ There is sharing. Not only do we share household worries and parental burdens¡ªwe also share ideas. One day I come home from a convention and presented you with a thick historical novel. Though I prefer thrillers and science fiction. I had read the novel on the plane. It was because I wanted to be able to exchange ideas about the book after you¡¯d read it.
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£ £ There is forgiveness, sensitivity, faith and so on. We helped each other acknowledge the cycles of life and the joys counter the sorrows. It was enough to keep us going.
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£ £ I guess our love lasts because it is comfortable. No, the sky is not bluer¡ªit¡¯s just a familiar hue. We don¡¯t feel particularly young. We¡¯ve experienced too much that has contributed to our growth and wisdom, taking its toll on our bodies, and created our memories. We¡¯re following the instructions¡± Grow old along with me!¡±
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£ £  If anything is real, the heart will make it plain.£